still knocking

I hate it that there are things I can't write about, as they are the exact things that I need to today.I feel broken. and sad. and lonely. and unworthy of a blessing.
I know these feelings are temporary, Lord, and Your grace isn't.
I am thankful for that.
Today, I just need to mourn a little.

My heart aches.

How long is this journey?If only I could see your plan or see an end, Lord, it would be so much easier.

Lord, I do not wish for my timing to override yours.
I am just sad that my prayer and your timing weren't in sync this time.
I thought it was.

I still believe that you are doing a great work in me, and that you love me and want to bless me.
Please give me endurance to allow your work to be done and give me patience for your timing. I pray that I continually ask and seek and knock, and have hope that the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8 was my grandfather's favorite verse. I cannot count how many times I heard him say it or write it in a note to me:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Remembering your beautiful persistence today, Paw,
and still knocking.