Could not ask for more

I photographed a friend's birth this Sunday. There are simply no words of my own to describe the experience.
It was a miracle. It is a miracle. Birth is an everyday miracle. To witness it, to be part of it, was one of the most spectacular evenings of my life. This birth was longed for and prayed for in just about every aspect, particularly the unmedicated natural part of it. Her frequent fears about failing if she didn't have this birth naturally, concerned me.
I prayed hard for her to have a smooth labor and for a healthy baby...but something in me just couldn't pray for the other part. I had this sense that God had a lesson in store for this birth.
He did.

This is 'a high risk birth', the doctor-on-call told her sister and I after pulling us quietly into the hallway. He proceeded to share some recent stories of women who were not able to have the unmedicated natural birth they desired.
I was annoyed. This woman...she's not one to do things willy nilly. She knew the statistics, the issues, and the challenge ahead of her. She intentionally put a team of people 'for' her in place: the doctor, hospital, doula, husband, sister, and me.

One thing solely based on timing was her doctor, Dr. H. You'd think the H stood for 'hung the moon' the way she talked about him. Slightly unhealthy, perhaps...but to have an intelligent, gentle, wise doctor who also prayed for the birth you desired, is pretty rare.
(For the record, he's my doctor too now.)

At the first onset of labor, she repeated her ongoing fear about having anyone other than Dr. H deliver this baby. I think she believed she couldn't have the birth she wanted with any other doctor.

We prayed for them as they left for the hospital, and my dear friend the doula and I got a call and were on our way shortly thereafter.

The labor was horrific.
I know God told Eve that He specifically designed it that way after they sinned in the garden...

"To the woman he said,
'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'" Genesis 3:16

...but, it was so difficult witnessing someone you love in such excruciating pain. From the beginning tears began to stream down my face as I ached for her. "I can't do it."
"My back is breaking."
"Nothing is happening."
"God help me."
The way she cried out to God for help in the most painful of moments said something so beautiful about her character and her trust in the Lord. More tears streamed.

And then the complete outpouring of love and service to her was overwhelming...
Strong hands softened and fought against the pain, hour after hour
Gentle hands comforted her and were squeezed for strengthEncouraging voices sang in unison "Yes you can!", muffling her words of doubt
Tender voices reminded of the birth she wholly desired during her most difficult momentsEyes streamed tears of joy at each progression.
And for me, hour after hour, tears continued to stream.
Something was happening.

My heart was changing. The tears had been tenderizing my heart, and my analytical brain, so often at the wheel, found itself in the trunk. (Nobody missed it either.)
I was depleted and defeated to it's power. My heart felt opened...and as if it had taken over completely.

I began to desperately yearn for her to have the unmedicated natural birth she desired. More tears came. I prayed at that moment for just that.

A short time later, somehow I knew in my heart the baby was coming just as she planned, as she had dreamed, and as she had prayed. I looked over at the doula and saw it in her eyes too. We both somehow knew right in that moment, our eyes teared, and these words echoed in the room...
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you
Here with me
These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
(excerpt from 'Could not ask for more' by Edwin McCain)
It was going to happen. And then, at the stroke of midnight and God's loving hand, it did.My heart that had been protective of her and my mind that saw God's opportunity to teach her something, instead taught me something.

He taught me how much He loves us and that He wants to give us what we desire.
He taught me that my way is not His way, and that an answered prayer can be both a blessing and a lesson. And He so graciously showed her that she didn't need her sweet doctor to have the miracle she desired, only God himself. He didn't withhold anything from her, but blessed her with the fullness of His love. It was the most incredible miracle seeing that beautiful baby boy emerge from inside his mother's womb. Amazing, awesome, nearly unbelievable...and so beautifully and perfectly designed.
No words to describe, only wet, warm tears that streamed down my face and softened my heart permanently.
Thank you sweet friend and my sweet Lord for allowing me to be a part of it.

These are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I could not ask for more.