Don't give up

I found this note to God in a notebook of mine that never quite made it into a real journal....now I have one.

This is word-for-word from my entry that day, June 6th 2004, wanting to capture how God spoke to me in the smallest of situations, but in the most meaningful way. After my tennis match, I sat in my car and wrote this down. I still remember it well...
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I heard your voice today. It was in a little girl. I was playing tennis, losing to a lovely older lady named Rita. I was getting sad and frustrated and uncertain how to play when I heard her voice. "Don't give up", she said. I had just been thinking why can't I play stronger? Why am I so nervous and stiff? How can I be a light, a Christian, and be happy with myself in tennis and in life? How am I to play?

All that rambling was cluttering my mind. Then, I heard her voice. At first, I didn't see anyone. No one had been watching our game. Somehow still, I thought it may have been for me. Then, I saw her.

She nestled up to the fence on the other side of the court, looked straight at me and waved. There was no one behind me, only a field of power lines. It was for me.

"Don't give up." I nearly burst into tears feeling the love and warmth from my Father. That's how it felt.

"Don't try so hard to be so many things and so perfect.
Just trust and don't give up."
It was beautiful, but it was overwhelming in that moment. I had been a bit distant from Him lately, and had been so lonely in other places in my life...like work.

Yesterday, I was giving some words of encouragement to someone at work who may have been seeking love, validation, and acceptance from others and the wrong places. I told this person how You wait for us, You are there, ready to hold us, and comfort us, and love us. I told this person that I can feel that love from You wrapping me and holding me.

Even though I had been struggling, I did and do still trust that Your way is so much better than mine. I just get lost sometimes. Thanks for the reminder. Your timing today was perfect, and You reminded me that You are so loving, so faithful, and always there.

Thanks for showing me what I was reflecting back about You. I'm so grateful for the attention. I lost today's match, but had a nice time with Rita and had a nice time with You. Thanks for being the Father I yearn for and need. Thank you.

Tomorrow is another day.
I hope to trust and not give up, even when I'm lost sometimes.
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